Oh, what (a) feeling(s)…

The saying goes, ‘name them, to tame them’. And no, that's not referring to wild animals, we’re talking about feelings. Those things we carry around all day long.

Despite this, naming feelings can be tough. Really tough. And it can be made even more difficult by the fact that we can feel lots of things at once.

There are times when one feeling is so dominant that it is hard to miss. However, at other times we might find ourselves swimming in feelings, and that can be much harder for us to understand.

Sometimes those feelings might be responding to different things going on in our life. Sometimes the feelings might feel contradictory to one another. Sometimes they might feel confusing or hard to explain. We might even label them as ‘wrong’ or write them off as not allowed.

Feeling multiple things at once is normal - it’s part of being human. We can carry many different feelings at one time in response to different areas of our lives. We can also experience mixed feelings, known as emotional ambivalence, towards the same thing. And that is okay too. For example we might find ourselves feeling scared and excited. Proud and jealous. Sad and relieved. The temptation might be to only acknowledge the feeling we deem to be most acceptable, but in doing that we miss out on understanding the presence of the feeling and offering ourselves compassion.

I invite you to check in with yourself now. Put one hand on your chest, the other on your belly, close your eyes and take some deep, slow breaths in through your nose. Ask yourself, how am I? What am I feeling?

It could be that there is a lot coming up for you. Some feelings you might already have been aware of, but there might be other feelings that were lurking further back in your consciousness. Which feelings are more intense? And which are less clear?

Taking the time to sit in quiet with our feelings is an important part of understanding ourselves. Sometimes the noise of everything and everyone else can get in the way and make it harder to listen. But our feelings are there no matter what, and they’re asking to be heard.

Therapy provides you with space to understand all of your feelings, even if you haven't allowed yourself to say them out loud before. Whether you're looking for counselling for anxiety, depression, grief or stress, sitting with someone, either online or for in-person counselling, who is there to listen to you can be an incredibly powerful experience.