Let's Talk Therapy: what it is and what it definitely isn't (part 2)

Okay, as promised, here’s part 2 - because let’s be honest, there can be a lot of misunderstandings around therapy! I offer all potential new clients an introductory phone call, so if you have any specific questions or concerns, this is a great time to ask.

So, without further ado, let’s look at a few more myths and the truths behind them:

You have to talk about your parents

The myth: Therapy is a space where I have to talk about my parents

Truth: Well, this is sort of true and sort of not. The most important myth to bust is that you HAVE to talk about anything. When you come to counselling, particularly humanistic counselling, it is your space and your choice as to what you talk about. However, understanding our childhood and upbringing can reveal a lot about where certain patterns of behaviours, thoughts or inner dialogue comes from. So while you don’t have to, your therapist might be curious with you about your early years in order to help you better understand yourself. This isn’t about placing blame, but about understanding your experience.

Your therapist will judge you

The myth: Whatever I share my therapist will be making a judgement on it

Truth: As therapists, a big part of our role is to show up in a non-judgemental capacity. We want to hear about your honest experiences, to know how you see and interact with the world around you. We understand that everyone lives different lives and have no expectation as to how you should live yours.

Your therapist doesn’t think about you between sessions

The myth: My therapist only thinks about me during our weekly sessions

Truth: We care about all of our clients, and it’s not unusual for us to think about you in between sessions. That doesn’t mean we will contact you outside of our therapy sessions, but you might come into our thoughts as we wonder how you’re doing.

Counselling is only for people with huge problems

The myth: I can’t go to counselling because my problems aren’t big enough

Truth: There is no measure for when you can or can’t attend counselling. People get in touch for a huge number of reasons, and none of them are more valid than the other. Therapy is about being with another person in a supportive, empathetic, non-judgemental and confidential environment to help better understand who we are and what we need in our life.

Therapy will fix me

The myth: Going to therapy will fix all of my problems for me

Truth: No, therapy will not ‘fix’ everything for you. In therapy you can identify areas of your life, relationships and patterns of behaviour with which you want to make changes. While therapy isn’t a quick fix, over time and working alongside your therapist, you can identify where you want to make improvements and what those will look like. This might mean implementing boundaries, stepping back from trying to control another’s actions or perhaps accepting the limitations of a relationship. Whatever the improvement might be, becoming aware of where you have made gains is also a big part of the healing journey.